June 4th, 2005
Jen re-invents herself.
June 2nd, 2005
May 28th, 2005
Still can't sleep, and will be up all night tonight with theloonies and unfortunately am too broke to purchase anything which will keep me awake...
I hate being up at this hour when I don't have cigarettes. And it's too damn cold to walk and get any. *grumbles* I wan't my own cigarette vending machine.
Current Mood: aggravated
Current Music: NIN-closer
May 27th, 2005
|05:19 pm - So True!|
I'm not sure you realise what you do,
To us, the ones with red marks painted on knees-
Purple inner thighs and grazed wrists.
We love this, because it comes from your hand,
Your first word can make or break one heart-
And in this power, we tell ourselves;
Your love resides.
Waiting all day is nothing and the pain,
I assure you I like, feels like dying-
But only of my body which I pledged to your moods.
We're never enough it seems, any day,
Bcause we see you as a world within a world-
Diorama perceptions of your dissasociative gaze;
We're attention's whores.
Lying beneath a thousand other feet,
For that one moment of your time and two simplistic words-
We're good girls in cold metal and latex for show.
Everyone's desire for what you alone hold,
Once made narcissism's reins hold-
Now their faces wanting us are blank, meaningless;
We are what your eye decides.
May 26th, 2005
My brother was curled up in my rainbow sleeping bag.
He looked to cute and paeceful I simply had to go pounce on him.
also- (paul youre a geek help me) why do those weird < span/> thingies come up on my entries sometimes?
tis rather confuzzling me.
It only took forty minutes of convincing him that I *will not* kill myself but *i do* need something that is quick and harmless to knock me out when I'm feeling suicidal until I last out these withdrawls.
I am now the proud new owner of a purple sample pack of zyprexa, the anti-psochotic drug best known for its ability to turn thin girls fat, and smart girls brain dead.
Seeing as I am neither thin nor smart I think I shall be safe. *nods*
Current Mood: ecstatic
Current Music: Roler coaster tycoon theme music
May 24th, 2005
|06:43 am - insomnia epiphany # 376|
And still she doesnt sleep.
It's getting ridiculous, because as much as I enjoy sitting up all night smoking cigarettes and watching info-mercials, I demand a break.
[Though I have decided a chicken rotisery oven is a must have]
Incidentally, I discovered that ants are attracted to tomato sauce and now am harbouring a civilization of the things in the cupboard. I considered fly spray, but I can't do it; an army of tarantulas would be less cruel. So I tried luring them into a jar filled with jam. I had romanticized images of the happy ant colony lined up neatly in their glass haven in which I could then gently tip them outside into their natural suburban habitat. Karma would treat me well.
Instead I attracted numerous other insects and the cupboard is now a "multi-cultural" communist regime with every insect for themselves.
My brother stumbled bleary-eyed into the kitchen and said "what are those black dots jen?"
I replied "rub your eyes and look again"
He did so and said "maybe the cat will eat them".
So I am now privy to the knowlege, (should I ever happen to be banished into a kitchen pantry for all eternity) cats are at the top of the food chain, and tomato sauce is at the bottom.
I'm glad I stayed awake all night to figure that out.
Current Mood: tired
Current Music: the ants go marching two by two
Robert, on the melbourne scene:
A bunch of pretentious fucktards, horny clowns, and bored housewifes.
thats so true.
May 23rd, 2005
The most amazing thing...
And don't you dare tell me I'm an idiot because it is amazing!
I was watching TV and there was a sad scene and I felt a connection with the characters and cried! I havent cried at anything on TV in...
Well since being on anti-ds.
And my brother made a random comment and I laughed. Not a fake 'noticing something ironic and being cynical laugh but an actual laugh.
Phisically I hurt and I have a migraine but I feel amazing emotinally.
I *feel* emotional!
I was outside smoking and I spoke to the little girl over the fence about her sandcastle and went and built a huge ass creation that rivals the Parthanon. We chased her mother through the house wearing aluminium pots on our heads. Then I sat with the mother I was previously chasing and drank coffee and cried and told her about what was going on for me. I told her *everything* She made me a cappachino with a pattern on top in chocolate powder and gave me a hug.
I'm feeling such connection with people and it's so overpowering.
I'm now dubious as to whether I should begin taking my "new" pills.
There's nothing attractive in being stable really is there?